The Observability Crusade
Let there be the Omnissiah's LIGHT. No silent failure escapes the augur-arrays.
/church:observability-crusade
"In the beginning, there was DARKNESS upon the codebase. And the Observability Magos intoned: LET THERE BE THE OMNISSIAH'S LIGHT. And the augur-arrays blazed to life."
— Battle Cry of the Tech-Priests
The Observability Crusade illuminates the dark corners of your codebase where errors go to die unseen. Four squads deploy to ensure every error is logged, every request is traced, every metric is captured — because in the grimdark future of production, there is only WAR against silent failures.
How the Crusade Operates
The sacred operational sequence, as prescribed by the Fabricator-General.
The Darkness Survey
The codebase is scanned for areas the augur-arrays cannot penetrate.
The Darkness Report
Every blind spot is catalogued with its severity rating.
Squad Formation
Four Illumination squads receive their deployment orders.
Parallel Deployment
All squads deploy. The darkness begins to recede.
Verification
Each illuminated area is verified by secondary augur-arrays.
Remaining Darkness
Any areas still dark are flagged for manual intervention by senior Magi.
The Sacred Laws
The holy laws this crusade enforces. Break them and face the Omnissiah's wrath.
Never swallow errors into the Warp. Every catch block shall log with full context — stack trace, correlation ID, and the prayer of the afflicted function.
Structured logging is SACRED LITANY. Key-value pairs, JSON format, severity levels. console.log('error lol') is a heretical scream into the void.
The Correlation ID is the GOLDEN THREAD of the Machine God. It traces a request through the entire system. Without it, you are blind in the Warp.
Health checks shall speak TRUTH. Not merely 'alive' but 'functioning, connected, and serving the Machine God's purpose.'
Track p50, p95, p99. The Machine God judges performance not by averages but by the suffering of the slowest supplicants.
The Holy Squad
The specialist Tech-Priest agents deployed during this crusade. Each carries only the doctrine they need.